Come on! I know you remember the game–all we girls played it–He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not! Most of us will remember playing this little game as young children. I bet even some of you guys played it. We tried to decide if the love of our life–the object of our forever affection–was going to return our love. He or she was the boy or girl of our dreams, and we would surely die if he or she did not return our love!
How sweet and innocent those long ago days of childhood where something as simple as a flower, and a song, could speak to our hearts about love, and all that was sure to follow.
Although many years have come and gone, there is one thing I am certain of–it is not by accident this deeply imbedded longing and desire that pulls at our hearts. We crave to love and be loved–we crave acceptance and approval–we crave true intimacy where we are known for who we truly are, yet loved all the same. Oh, how we long for our heart’s desires to be fulfilled giving us what we so desperately want and need!
As I look back, I find a striking parallel with those days of long ago where I pulled petals from flowers, to see if I was truly loved–or not, and how I interacted in my relationship with God and others. In my efforts, to love and be loved, I became performance-based. I tried to be everything for everyone. My personality changed to fit the situation, or to suit others, and what I thought they needed from me. A deeper fear drove me–if someone truly knew me they would not love me. This spilled over into all of my relationships, where I lived life on an emotional roller coaster, as I worked night and day to earn love and acceptance.
While God placed within the heart of every human being the need and desire to love and be loved, it was never His intent for us to earn love. Thinking we must earn love is a burden we humans place upon ourselves and each other. We see this in every aspect of our lives, and we easily fall prey to a system of beliefs and teachings that reinforce our need to earn love, acceptance and approval. Ultimately, our longing for love should move us towards God where we find He and He alone can fully meet all of our needs.
If you, like me, struggle with performance–earning love and acceptance from God and others–challenge your beliefs and why you believe the way you do. A life of performance is impossible to live out, and it is exhausting. Search out truth, turn to God’s word (Bible) for what He says is true about you, and your relationship with Him and others. Our God is a God of grace, love and mercy, and if you seek Him you will find Him, and He will be found faithful as He reveals His truth, and His love for you!
When you find yourself pulling petals off daisies–performing to earn love and acceptance–like me, you too will be able to turn to the true object of your affection, and say with confidence–He loves me, He loves me lots!
God bless you & remember, He loves you, He loves you lots!
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. John 1:1 ~ 14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14 ~ 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. John 1:17
14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father,[a] 15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth.[b] 16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. 17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Ephesians 3:14-19
8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:8-10
13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32
Contact: Kiki @ DancingWithGod@charter.net