Starting at birth, every aspect of life involves relationship, beginning with the family we are born into (family of origin) which includes a community of extended family and friends.
Relationship seems like a simple fact of life, but is it? It seems to me, it is not! In reality, relationships can be all too complicated. The truth is, many of us have broken relationships and we have absolutely no idea how to mend or repair them. Some of us even have a few we wish we could escape from!
We live in a fallen and broken world–we humans are imperfect in an imperfect world–and one of the results of that brokenness–imperfection–is that our own human heart can be wounded in the process. Once wounded, without healing, we can live out of the hurt or pain from these past wounds (damage, injury, distress, grief, anguish or torment). Once this occurs, we can react towards others from this place of pain. This is not to say that others do not do or say things that hurt us and create pain, but rather, we are responsible for what goes on within us internally and how we react. We learn to ask questions of ourselves such as: Why do I react to others as I do; and, what are my triggers? Being focused externally–looking at others as our problem–will only lead to a victim mentality of self-justification and blaming of others instead of taking responsibility for our own pain.
For healthy relationships we must begin to heal and grieve our past wounds and/or trauma(s). This requires a loving and supportive community of people who have traveled this path before us. Too often, the heart God places within each of us is covered up and it hides beneath our pain. When this happens we live from a false-self. We are intended to live from the heart Jesus gave us and not the one buried beneath our pain. We are meant to move towards a path of wholeness and emotional maturity. Because we humans are relational beings we do not thrive well in life without strong-loving bonds where we are in community with others. It takes both family and community for us to live from our full potential the way God intended. See The Life Model, Chapter 1, Page 11-13, by E. James Wilder, PhD., et al.
In my personal journey towards wholeness, I am eternally grateful to those that traveled before me–your love and support mean more to me than you will ever know–and, I suspect you know who you are! Thank you for selflessly sharing your own journey, your pain and struggles, allowing me, and those like me, to receive healing and restoration–wholeness. As a result, it is possible to be up close and personal in relationship with God and others as He intended all along.
May God richly bless you and may you delight in the love and passion He has for you!
FYI: For an in depth understanding of healing from past wounds and/or traumas, achieving wholeness, maturity and life-giving community, see The Life Model, by E. James Wilder, PhD., et al.
Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Romans 12:15
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. Romans 8:28
6 If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it, because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message, 7 even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:6-10
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does. James 1:2-8
12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. James 1:12
16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created. James 1:16-18
Contact: Kiki @ DancingWithGod@charter.net