Learning to Dance

Dancing Ballerina

Much of my life I spent running from God and hiding from Him all because I feared Him. I feared Him because I did not know Him. It has taken me a lifetime to discover God for who He truly is and learn that He is not the God that I thought I knew based on my own preconceived and faulty notions.

Eventually, life’s circumstances gave me two choices as far as I could tell, and they were: One, stop running from God. Second, if not, then surely I would die! I chose to stop running and do the work laid out before me. I am here to say, it has not been an easy path, but it has been worth it. Worth it because I have uncovered the most incredible truths about God and in the process discovered the truth about myself.

God, as I now know Him, is a God of grace, mercy and unconditional love. I desired unconditional love and a relationship where I was known for who I truly am in spite of all my faults and shortcomings. I hungered and longed for a relationship where I could be real and authentic, removing all of my masks or false-faces. I just wanted to be deeply known and loved passionately. No matter what I did or didn’t do something always remained missing and hurting deep inside of me. There was a void that was constantly longing and needing to be filled within me, yet, I did not know what the need was or how to “fix” it.

My experiences in life have taken me down many paths and while I have had great joy I have also known great sorrow. During the times of great sorrow, I learned more about myself, God and others than I ever thought possible. It was during the times of great sorrow that I came face to face with God, as revealed to us in the person of Jesus, and as I let go of my fears and moved closer towards Him, I entered into the most precious relationship. I discovered a passionate God and found His passion was for me, and for you. He will pursue us without ceasing in a desire to capture our wounded and broken hearts. He will restore us and transform us so that we can receive His love, learn to love and care about ourselves, and in turn reach out and love others.

Dancing Ballerina Feet

I’ve discovered He pours out His gift of grace to each and every one of us. We did nothing to earn His grace. As a matter of fact, there is nothing we can do to earn it. No act on our part, no amount of performance, no works or good deeds can earn this incredible, and often times hard-to-understand and misrepresented, grace.

Typically, humans teach “religion”–a type of living whereby human beings try to make themselves acceptable to God through their own actions or works–God reveals something totally different and more beautiful than the human mind can imagine. Through the Person of Jesus Christ, who reveals to us the Father, we discover God’s grace, His love and His passion for us. As we discover the truth–the Person of Jesus–we begin to enter into an intimate and authentic relationship with Him. We come to know that love, grace, mercy and truth is a Person and His name is Jesus. By intimately knowing Him, as He intended, we begin to gain freedom from the lies we believe about ourselves, others and God.

We all have a story to share and this is mine. I invite you to step into my story and journey with me towards this passionate and unconditional God who loves you–and me–passionately!Dancing Ballerina

Come along with me and learn to dance!

Kiki

39 “You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me! John 5:9

Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. John 14:6

God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Ephesians 2:8 NLT

Contact: Kiki @ DancingWithGod@charter.net

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Lies, Deception And Other Tangled Webs

From time to time, there is an old saying from childhood that bounces around in my head, “Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.” It just pops in on its own and goes round n’ round in my head. As a child, I did not understand or appreciate that little saying, but after many years of pondering the subject of lies and deception, I have determined that what we take in as truth is critical to how we live out our life. It is possible to believe something is truth when in fact we have been deceived into believing lies.

 I like the way David Takle, author of The Truth About Lies And Lies About Truth, addresses the topic about what we believe and the art of deception. He uses the illustration of C. S. Lewis’ book, Screwtape Letters, saying it gives us a vivid picture of how pervasive the problem of deception really is in our lives. A demon apprentice by the name of Wormwood, is being trained by his demon uncle, Screwtape, in the art of deception and temptation. Following Wormwood’s education, we observe a very narrow set of methods that are repeated over and over to the person being targeted: distract, distort, confuse, and misrepresent all elements of reality!

We can all relate to the manipulative & deceptive methods presented by the demons, Wormwood & Screwtape, who keep people off balance through confusing and distorting reality! The methods of deception are powerful and destructive tools that affect every aspect of life for those targeted.

Deception is a subject that is repeatedly revealed throughout the Bible as the weapon of choice which is meant to destroy us. It is so powerful it can render our lives completely broken and ineffective. That said, it stands to reason that what we believe matters more than we can imagine, and it is truly the life force that drives us.

There is a relationship between what we believe and emotional pain. Think about that statement for a moment and let it sink in–there is a direct relationship between what we believe and emotional pain! If emotional pain is present, that is unresolved and/or trauma related, there is a lie(s)–deception–that we are believing, a lie that we have taken in as truth! What we believe constantly operates in the background driving us in some fashion, shape or form.

If the above is true, then we have to ask the questions: What lies are we believing; and, in what way have we been deceived; and, how in the world did those lies take root in a way that created emotional pain and trauma? Tackling the subject of truth and challenging our beliefs, especially discovering the lies we believe, becomes an important task if we desire to live life in intimate and authentic relationship with God and others.

Unresolved emotional pain and/or trauma control how we live out life and how we do relationship. Pain memories become constant triggers creating havoc and chaos in our life and the life of those we love. If we desire intimate and authentic relationships then the unresolved emotional pain that drives us must be resolved. Healthy relationship can only thrive in an atmosphere of trust and truth! Therefore, it is worth repeating, there is a direct relationship to what we believe and emotional pain. 

This is not a simple subject and cannot be fully explored in a post about truth and deception. It takes a lifetime of input coming from many different directions, and experiences that form our beliefs about our identity, God’s character and our relationships. Truth is vital to restoration and healing of the broken places and it is critical for growth and change.

There is freedom in the truth and it is life-giving while the lies we believe–deception–bring about bondage and death.Snake In The Apple Tree

God bless and may you live “tangle” free!

Kiki

FYI: For an in-depth look on the topic of the lies we believe and the art of deception see The Truth About Lies And Lies About Truth by David Takle.

Contact: Kiki @ DancingWithGod@charter.net

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Forever Changed ~ Part I

Heart of Butterflies Many people constantly move in and out of our lives. Its been said that some come and stay for an entire lifetime while others come for just a season. Some will have a life changing impact on our lives while others might leave little or no impression whatsoever. I believe that all who enter into our lives are there for a purpose. Maybe that purpose becomes known to us in time and maybe it doesn’t. Regardless, I believe that somehow, some way, other people have an impact on our lives just as we will impact theirs.

This impact we have on others raises some questions: What kind of impact or influence will we have on each other? Do our relationships create growth in us or do they create negative results? Do our relationships affect what needs worked out in us, or do our relationships leave us angry, bitter, full of hatred and revenge?

In my life, I have seen many people along the way motivate change in me that has completely changed the path or direction my life was taking. I look back and know for a fact had certain people not been part of my journey I would not have arrived at this place in time being the person I am today. I am thankful for all of these that have come across my path. But, no one has influenced my life in a way that promoted growth and change in me as much as my son.

To those of you who are parents, if you are anything like me, somewhere deep inside when you ponder your greatest fears your mind will turn to your children. Just the thought of something happening to them, the thought of potential harm of any type, can leave all of us paralyzed, shaken and very afraid. For many reasons, that was a fear alive within me, and for as long as I can remember it had always been there. Then one winter day, in January 1996, my worst fear became my new reality. My son, Alan, died and in the blink of an eye my life forever changed and it would never again be the same.

How in the world is a parent supposed to bury their child? How do we get up the next day and finish living our life? How do we put the shattered pieces back together? How do we take another breath of air since it hurts to breathe in and breathe out? How do we live with intense pain that is not only mental and emotional it is also physical? How are we to survive without our child? How do we survive for our other children? How do we keep from literally going insane?

Since Alan’s death I have spent many years pondering these questions and more. There is a path out, and although it is not an easy path, the journey is worth it.

In life we are guaranteed to have many trials. These trials can change life and how we do life and nothing will ever again be the same. They can cause us to turn bitter and angry for the rest of our lives. They can cause us to flee from the God we thought we believed in. Or, they can cause us to fall on our face at the feet of Jesus. We humans usually do one or the other–we flee–or, we fall on our face before our God. And me, well, I fell on my face before God.

In my next post, Forever Changed Part II, I would like to share a letter I wrote to my son, Alan. This letter speaks to ways that I am forever changed for having known him and loved him.

Heart of Butterflies

God Bless!

Kiki

Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Philippians 4:6-7 The Message

We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! 1 Corinthians 13:12 The Message

No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 The Message

Contact: Kiki @ DancingWithGod@charter.net

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